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2. A good marriage must be built, it does not just happen.
3. We must focus more on being the right person, than marrying the right person.
4. There are some principles given in the Scriptures that must be honoured.
1. Unity in the faith.
2. Unity in calling
Staying single
Marriage is a wonderful thing, designed and blessed by God. Next to our own personal salvation and service to God, it is the most important aspect of life. Who should I marry? Is something that is in the thoughts of people from a very young age. It is different for boys than it is for girls, but both spend time meditating on it, and wondering what it will be like to be married.
Click-Hebrews 13:4 Click-Genesis 1:27-28
There are some things that must be considered when choosing a spouse.
Many people marry their own imagination. They imagine themselves with a particular person, imagining how it will be, how they are so perfect for each other, how they will love each other, respect each other, have these dream fulfilling times together etc. When a person gets married, he/she will face two major surprises: number one, that it is not like he/she imagined it to be. This can be very disappointing to many, but it should not be. This is only because we set ourselves up for this, we expect our imaginary desires to be fed like we anticipated they would be. We must let go of that and approach marriage like life, in a real matter. Secondly, the real blessings. When we find ourselves in a marriage, we find ourselves complete, relaxed, secure, productive, prosperous and much more. It is an institution that God blesses, and we must discover those
blessings in it. They will be found, both in ourselves, in our spouses and in the union between us. It is not our passion, attraction, desire or even love that God blesses, it is His institution, the marriage covenant that He established. We must find ourselves in His establishment, His ordained institution, that is where we find our place.
We must know and keep in our memory that our spouse is not going to fulfill us, neither is he/she supposed to. That is something God does through Jesus Christ, and once we find our fulfillment in Christ, then we can greatly enjoy the one we have married.
It is common for people to believe that their wedding day will be their best day in their marriage. It will be perfect, and then, from there on, it will slowly lose its preciousness. This is not the case at all. A good marriage is built over time. Those who will learn to lose their own selfish ways and live to love, edify, support and treat with respect their spouse, and grow together, both grow personally in character, faith and principle, and also grow together; closer to each other; those will develop a good marriage that will get better and better.
Yes, marrying the right person is very important, but being the right person sets the stage for that. Any person that lives honestly, morally, responsibly, works like he/she should before God will automatically seek and attract someone that is also living like that. There is the fact that bad people try to tempt and mislead good people, and everyone must be aware of this, and seek counsel before making life-changing decisions, but being the right person is the best way to finding the right one to marry.
Physical attraction must be one of the last things on the list when finding a spouse. It is not that it is not important, it is, but it is not what will make it a good marriage. In fact, if that is used to determine the decision, it is most likely going to fail. The attraction fades, when it is the focus, and grows when it is not the main focus.
For a believer, these principles are the most important aspect of finding a spouse.
God is very clear that believers are not to enter into a unity with unbelievers, Click-II Corinthians 6:14-18. This will remove God’s blessing before it begins. It is like trying to mix light with darkness, evil with good, Christ with Satan. They have nothing in common, and do not mix together. The Bible also explains that a couple may be already in a marriage before one comes to the Lord, and in such case, they should seek to make it work, that is if the unbeliever is willing, for it may help them to come to the Lord.
God says that being one of His disciples requires that must be one, even when it is at the expense of losing one’s family. Click-Luke 14:26. Click-Matthew 10:37.
Seeking to serve God with having conflict in the marriage is one of the hardest things in life, most end up letting go of one or the other. This can be prevented when the right choice is made before the marriage.
We must make sure that we are both sensing God’s calling for us is in the same direction, the same career or ministry.
The apostle Paul describes that staying single, that is if one can do that with staying pure morally, it can be freeing to be a servant for God. This is not a requirement for serving God, nor is it best for all to do that, but God wants us to consider it.